The Bible teaches us that God is a God of signs and wonders and He is constantly doing signs and wonders even in our day. Signs, to many people are great manifestations of the power of God in the midst of His people. Signs are pointers that reveal the way or direct in the way one should go. Just like a sign post or board points to an address or a building, the same way, God supernaturally points us to some things He wants us to look at and deal with.
This is the reason why Jesus taught that we should watch and pray.
Matt 26:41 41 "Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation.
The spirit is willing, but the body is weak." NIV Luke 21:36 36
Be always on the watch, and pray that you may be able to escape all that is about to happen, and that you may be able to stand before the Son of Man." NIV
God is a revealer of mysteries. He responds to our prayers with revelations of His will - secret things we need to know to identify His perfect will. Watching and praying implies that our spiritual eyes be open to see and decode what God has to reveal in response to our prayers. God speaks through signs. In a relationship, there are things that happen that God uses as a sign to reveal His will about the relationship. As you pray daily for God to assure you if you are in the will of God or not. Sometimes, He may speak to you with a witness in your spirit, a voice, a vision, a dream, and sometimes with signs. I do not know if you have been observant to know what God is saying to you through the things you have been experiencing so far in your relationship. I want to share with you signs that reveal danger in a relationship that will require you to have a rethink about your present relationship. To close your eyes and ears to the signs that God reveals is dangerous, and you cannot blame God or anyone in future if you fail to take advantage of the signs now.
THERE IS A DANGER IF THE FOLLOWING SIGNS ARE PRESENT:
1. If he does not want to open up about the past A man who is not willing to open up about his past has some skeleton in his cupboard that could resurrect and hunt your relationship in future. Sincerity demands that all in a relationship open up and be free to share about their life so far lived. Not to open up reveals:
• Secrecy which is dangerous to the survival of a loving relationship.
• You can never know what is in his mind.
Cannot be trusted for you never know when he is telling the truth. • A scary past which you never know what it is and how it can and may affect him in future. This creates fear of the unknown which is not good for a relationship. • You never know what to expect and what he is capable of doing.
2. If he has a chronic desire to be in control of everything all the time
A chronic desire to be in control is a sign that you may not have a say in your future marriage. It is a sign that your voice may never be heard. To marry such a person is to agree that you may lose your identity and remain silent and unable to contribute to issues that concern your marriage and family. This kind of person can rubbish you in public and you must think twice before you decide to say. “Yes, I do.”
3. If he does not participate in seeking help for himself
Many people do not take the change of their person serious; they just don’t care about improving themselves to become better. They seem not to care about how their lifestyle is affecting and causing pain to the one they claim to love. To go ahead and marry such a man is signing off your life for a life of pain. No matter how much you claim to love him as long as you are uncomfortable with his character, you will get tired soon and abandon the marriage. The best thing is to get him to get serious about improving and correcting his life now that you are not married, but when you find out that there is no inner motivation or seriousness to get rid of the evils in his life, you need to think again and give attention to this sign God is revealing to you and save yourself many nights of tears.
4. If he gives excuses for his behavior
Many people never accept their faults but always explain it away or shift the blame to another. A true man should be man enough to admit his faults and apologize when necessary. Making apology when wrong is not a sign of weakness but strength. Explaining away issues in order to avoid asking for forgiveness is very wrong and a very bad character. This evil character takes its root from pride. A person like this is likely to lose jobs and many opportunities as a result of this evil character. One problem with this kind of person is that he will never confront real issues in his life because he is avoiding them by explaining them away, as a result, his life will remain what it used to be without an improvement.
5. If he has a lot of guilt, blame and low self-esteem about his past
A man laden with guilt or blame and is unable to forgive himself and let go of the failures and loses of yesterday needs help mentally. Until he lets go of the past he will remain haunted by his past. We must all learn to ask for forgiveness and receive forgiveness. Low self-esteem is a function of negative thoughts deeply rooted in some cases, with the failures of the past. You need to marry someone who is an optimist, a positive thinker who refuses to be broken by the evil experiences of life. This is a proof that he can carry his family through tough
times and challenges without being broken by it. But a person of low self-esteem has lost his dignity and fighting spirit and needs to wake up and come out of it.
6. If he does not want to overcome his addictions To recognize one has a problem is a good thing, but the desire and resolve to fight and overcome it is the best. If you discover that your friend is not willing to confront his addictions and get rid of them, then you have to think twice. Any person who resists change is setting himself for a destruction that will come suddenly.
7. If he plays the blame-game Playing the blame game is insincerity and a very dangerous habit that can destroy a relationship. Playing the blame game is refusal to face the truth and confront the real issues and stop chasing shadows. Marrying a man who is not willing to admit his faults and face them is not wise. Every woman needs a real man. A real man is someone who is always ready to face issues sincerely and with commitment and deal with it on time. A real man admits fault and takes responsibility for his words and actions. A real man does not fear or too proud to say sorry when necessary. Shifting of blame is running away from the real issues that if left unattended to will destroy the marriage.
8. If his attitude to life is hopelessly negative
A negative person cannot live a positive life except he becomes positive in thoughts. It is important that one look at life with hope and excitement and face the challenges of life with a positive and winning mindset. In marriage one needs a positive person and not a negative person. Just as in every other area of life, marriage has its own challenges, and it takes a positive person to overcome them as they keep coming. A positive man will be able to move his family forward and build a strong business or career that will sustain his family financially. 9. If you seem to be doing everything for him A man who is not responsible for his own needs and welfare is not fit to marry. A man who has not shown any proof of ability to take care of himself, cannot take care of you. Though he may not be financially okay for now, he must show sign of possession of passion for accomplishment of his vision for a better and prosperous life to qualify for your relationship.
10. If it seems you are the only one with the drive to make the relationship work
It takes two to make a marriage successful. Love must be in the heart of the two people in the relationship to make it exciting and successful. If it seems you are the only with the drive to make the relationship work, you should think again. You can’t force someone who does not love you to love and marry you. If there is no excitement in his heart for you, then you have nothing with him. Don’t delay action on this matter with the claim that you love him. If you love him and he does not love you, you have nothing. You need a man who will be crazy in love for you.
11. If he doesn’t think for himself There are some men who do not think for themselves, others do their thinking for them. They seem to have no mind of their own. They can’t make up their mind on their own, and are subject to external influences. A man without a mind of his own cannot make a good leader, and you need a strong leader as a husband to lead your family to success and happiness.
12. If he must consult his parents before making a decision on any and every subject
A man who must consult his family first before making decisions is not a man yet. A mature man who is ready for marriage must be independent of his family in decision making. The scripture says the man should leave his family and cleave to his wife and the two of them shall become one. Families can advice, but decision making lies with the man. So a man who is not able to think through and make his own decision as a man is not qualified for marriage – he is immature. The head of a home should be able to make decisions and take responsibility of the decisions he makes.
13. If he shows sign of flirting
Marrying a man who is a playboy is foolishness. No matter how madly in love you may be with a man, be sure he is not flirting. I do not believe you will be able to stand an unfaithful man. This is not a call for a life of suspicion but to be observant and deal with the matter. Marrying a man you cannot trust to be loyal and faithful to you is invitation to a painful and miserable life.
14. If he has a violent temper
A violent man cannot respect you as a wife; he will abuse you and make life unbearable. A good man will respect his wife and not abuse her physically no matter the provocation. As you get to know each other, you will notice how he reacts when offended. You will know if he is a violent person by how he reacts. A quick tempered man is a time bomb that will definitely blow up some day. An aggressive man will definitely manifest violent temper when disappointed. Marry a man who has dealt with his temper problem.
CONCLUSION
It is very important that you take a look at your present experience and recent happenings and identify the signs and take a decision and move on with your life. Do not allow your love for him to blind your eyes to the things you are being shown by God to save you from many nights of tears and from suffering from a heart break in future. Open your eyes to the things happening in your relationship. Keep your eyes on the signs, and don’t be carried away by love feelings. Make the right decisions based on what you discover. Attend to this matter now.
THANK CHIUTA / GOD BLESS YOU
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