Women nag, men spank. Women have shape tongues, and equally sharp minds, which they can use with great effect. Men have upper body strength. For good or for evil, but use what God gave them. The strong-willed wife will try to outlast her husband's hand on a bare bottom. She will protest to both him and others about some perceived abuse at his hand even when none exists and the punishment was well deserved. However, the wife who has had a significant disciplinary experience from the top of her buttocks to the upper third of her thighs (down to what women of a few generations ago used to call the “stocking line”) will keep the matter to herself. She will bring no further embarrassment upon her house. To the surprise of many, the deserving wife caught compromised across her husband's knees will ask for privacy so he may continue with the task at hand. She will apologize more for her indiscretions than for her husband's punishing her for them. If one's children find out, it is not end of the world. Most children understand more than adults give the credit. In particular, children understand spanking far more than they understand bitterness and divorce. A child who grows up aware that mother submits to father's discipline may be less likely to engage in frivolous and dangerous behavior as they grow older. Even if she has grown children and has remained unpunished since her own childhood, the woman who is ruining her marriage knows she is not “too old”. She knows that vanity, pride in saying “he [her husband] wouldn't dare” is a poor substitute for a loving marriage in which he does, even more frequently than she would wish.
When the husband announces, “It's time”; a wife expects four things that she will vow never to tell her husband. One is to lose her pants early to prove he means business. She expects it “to hurt” sufficiently to make her cry in repentance. She knows that it must get though to her so that there is no doubt in her mind or that of her husband that he is in control. Finally, she expects to feel better after it is over. These she expects her husband to know he well enough to act on this knowledge without her telling him.
To see whether her husband is serious about her and their marriage, women will frequently roll out three sets of stumbling blocks. Each increases in intensity. The first are the preliminary protests. The second are the promises and pleadings when he begins. The third are, although the language may be more blunt, rages of anger at being “treated this way” as he continues. For the husband who conquers all three, there is the promise of peace beyond. Domestic tranquility will be restored.
There are some parallels turning one's wife over one's knees and casting out devils. One lesson in both is that, as Jesus pointed out in the story of the man among the tombs, if the husband does not fill the spiritual void created in his wife with something positive, then something worse may take its place. There is an information highway created which runs from a woman's bottom to her mind as the evil spews from her mouth. It is the husband's responsibility to fill with love and assurance. Otherwise, he has simply engaged in an act of torture.
There are three basic ways to control a wife. One is to ignore her. Another is to burden her with chores, responsibilities, and work. The final way is to, in a no nonsense fashion, discipline her personally, privately, and memorably. The first method ruins the marriage. The second makes her old. In responsible hands, the third can work miracles.
Long and happy marriages generally mean that the couple crossed the discipline bridge when they came to it rather go their separate ways. Adjectives such as “good” when used to describe her husband or his behavior toward her frequently mean he has taken charge of her more than once or twice during their marriage.
CONCLUSION
The question posed is “Does a man have the right to spank his wife?” I believe the question to be in error. A better question is should a man, a man to whom God has given talents and responsibilities, let his marriage crumble around him without raising a hand to stop it? My answer is simply no. A man does not have a right to spank his wife. However, he has an obligation to protect his marriage and his sanity even if it means wearing out the woman he loves! When she stands before her husband and asks “why” if he cannot look her in the eyes and honestly say “because I love you more than I love myself” he has no business taking his intentions any further. He is simply play games with his wife, himself, and God. That is probably not the smartest move he can make.
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