CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE

The husband’s role in married life

A caring Christian husband and a faithful Christian wife are a great blessing to each other and their family, as well as to those with whom they worship. The husband should show selfless love for his wife after Christ’s example of love and care for his church (true believers).

The husband should be the head of his wife as the Lord Jesus is the head of the church. This does not mean that the husband is allowed to order his wife around – expecting everything to be done in answer to his commands and having his own way – that was not how Jesus behaved with his disciples. Although he was their Lord, the head of the body of disciples, at times he behaved as a servant to them to teach them the need for humility (Luke 22:27), and he considered the needs of others more important than his own. Peter gave this advice:

“Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honour to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered” (1 Peter 3:7).  Being head of the family means that the husband should give a positive lead, but he should discuss important decisions with his wife. Most of all, the husband should lead the family in worship and instruction, as Abraham did (Genesis 18:19). In this way a baptized husband should regard himself as the head over the family, responsible for their lives before God, and he should think of his home as if it were a little Christian church, where God is honoured. 

In some countries the women in the family do most of the heavy work. Christian marriage is a partnership and the husband will be keen to share the work with his wife and family. He should show “honour to the woman as the weaker vessel” (1 Peter 3:7) and love her as much as he loves himself (Ephesians 5:28). This spiritual and
practical partnership will be a joyful experience for the whole family. Working together and sharing tasks will provide an excellent example of true Christianity, encouraging others.

A Christian wife

We have looked at the duties and responsibilities of the Christian husband, but the wife must also play her proper part. She should love and respect her husband in the same way as the church should love and respect the Lord Jesus. There is a delightful word picture of an “excellent wife” in Proverbs 31:10-31. She is someone her husband can trust absolutely, who “does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life” (verse 12). She works hard for herself and her family; she is kind and understanding, and “fears the LORD” (verse 30). The Bible has a number of examples of faithful wives who helped and supported their husbands, whilst letting them take the lead. Sarah respected Abraham and thought of him as her lord (1 Peter 3:1-6) and obeyed him. The apostle Paul shows that because the husband represents Christ, and his wife represents Christ’s true church, she should not take the leading role in marriage: “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord” (Ephesians 5:22).  Titus 2:4,5 contains Paul’s instructions concerning young wives:

"train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive (obedient) to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.”   Since Christian family life is to be shared with God, mothers have a special part to play both in caring for the family, and in guiding and teaching the children the things of God. Of course, both parents have their part to play in bringing up their children in a godly way. Scripture says that parents should “train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old, he will not depart from it” (Proverbs 22:6).