LOVE & RESPECT:

Fact: Every problem we have can be ev LOVE & RESPECT: entually be boiled down into a broken relationship.

Question: Can you describe a problem you have or have had that has to do with a broken relationship of any kind?

Fact: Men and women are built different and will never completely understand each other.

Question: What frustrates you the most about the opposite sex?

Fact: 90% of all problems can be blamed on men not taking responsibility. As in if men took responsibility for problems (whether or not it was their fault), we would have 90% less issues in the world. 

Fact: Although women like the previous fact, they are just as much to blame because many women are unwilling to be a part of the SOLUTION.

Fact: Love is NOT the ultimate secret to happy and healthy relationships. Love is only PART of the equation. RESPECT is the other part and COMMUNICATION is what keeps love and respect together.

There is a huge GAP in relationship education and counselling today. The GAP is that men and women are told to improve how much they love each other. What many don’t realize is that love is NOT natural for men and a woman will never be able to truly communicate with a man unless she knows how to speak the language of RESPECT. This is a GAP that can never be filled and causes many potential relationships to splinter apart in frustration and false motivations. Did you know that in ancient Jewish texts (Aka: The Bible), women are NOT told to love their husbands? Instead, they are told to RESPECT them. It is implied that women just naturally know how to love. On the flipside, men are commanded to love their wives. Men just naturally respect. This is an ancient secret that has been lost in our culture today. It is a secret that can unlock every type of relationship with the opposite sex including friendship, dating, marriage, and raising children. What is the difference between love and respect? Men are designed to value and speak the language of respect. Men need and live for respect. Women are designed to value and speak the language of love. Women need and live for love. This means men do not naturally love, and women do not naturally respect. This causes a breakdown of communication.  The trap is that when a man feels disrespected, he can become very unloving. And when women feel unloved, they can become very disrespectful. Men act unloving in one of two ways; they either become aggressive or they “stonewall” by retreating into personal caves and cut off relationships. Women typically act disrespectful in one of two ways; they either become very verbal (nagging), or bottle things in until it explodes on the man or even worse, gets vented on others not directly involved in the conflict.

The more men and women act unloving and disrespect each other, the more they spiral into a never ending cycle. So how do we break this cycle? One party must be the first to break the cycle and act in love or respect.  

Question: do you have any examples of how being unloving and disrespectful spiral into even more unloving and disrespect?

Men and women must learn to value the way the other is designed and learn to communicate in love and respect. Here is how to apply this understanding in every level of relationships with the opposite sex.

For Men Being loving is broken down into two major components: TIME and SECURITY. A man must learn to give time to female relationships and provide security by making women feel safe and comfortable about the future.

For Women Being respectful is broken down into two major components: AFFIRMATION and SIGNIFICANCE. A woman must learn to speak words of encouragement and affirmation and act in a way that recognizes a man’s desired role and significance.