We Need To Go To The Root of the Problem!!
God is our Healer!!
Are you hurting, angry and resentful because your spouse committed adultery? These are normal feelings to have after finding out your spouse has been with another person sexually, intimately and emotionally. Having a successful marriage after adultery has four main aspects that need special attention, they are: Forgiveness, Accountability, Managing Emotions and Self Healing/Marriage Restoration.
Forgiveness = If your spouse is truly sorry for their behavior and they have a need for repentance and a willingness to work on inner healing and save the marriage then it is your duty to forgive them.
Accountability = rebuilding trust with your spouse. Both husband and wife need to work at this. The cheater needs to be accountable and the one who did not cheat needs to accept and trust spouse again. We can't do this without putting God FIRST in our lives.
Managing emotions = It's normal to have strong emotions after finding out your spouse had an affair, but at some point in time those emotions need to be dealt with through forgiveness and accountability. The truth is you will never forget and there will be times that the pain will come back into your emotional bank but that doesn't mean to keep throwing stones at your repentant spouse.
Self Healing and Marriage Restoration = Marriage sanctified and blessed because you have restored yourselves and marriage to God. We cover these issues and more in How to Forgive a Cheating Spouse.
Plus we also talk about if the adulterer keeps committing adultery or won't leave an affair. What is God's will for you in this instance? Find out what God wants you to do if your spouse wants a divorce or won't stop cheating.
Perhaps you are the one who cheated on your spouse and are seeking to be forgiven so you can move on with your life and marriage. The root of the problem is we need to give our lives to God for inner healing. We all need inner healing at some point in our lives. If you have not yet given over your burdens to God than let this ebook encourage you to do so.
Most people don't know that marriage belongs to God? They believe marriage is created for their own happiness and selfish desires, but that is not the way God designed marriage to be? God designed marriage for couples to serve one another in real love. This is your purpose for marriage. Not until couples start working together to bring the roles of marriage to the table can marriage be restored.
Wives cheat because they feel intimately and emotionally separated from their husbands. Husbands cheat because they feel intimately and emotionally unattached to their wives. Who or what is causing the emotional bonds of marriage to break? Couples do it to themselves by NOT managing marriage according to its Creator!!
We Have To Change Our Perspective
Honestly people, do you truly think a constant cheater (sex addict) can just go into addiction therapy for 30 days and be healed of years of wrong thinking entering their heart and mind, and years of being told they are saved just by saying the words “I believe in Jesus.” The problem is we aren’t going to the root of the problem!! The news broadcast went on to say that 80% of all marriages will be affected by adultery, by either one or both spouses at some time in the lifetime of the marriage. Is this surprising to you? Well, it is not to us because we know what it takes to restore a bad marriage.
Yes, it is true that someone who has trouble keeping his or her marriage bed pure has an addiction and it can very well be called a syndrome, but what causes the addiction or the syndrome? To fix the root of the problem the addicted individual needs to seek inner healing, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually—they need to fix themselves. No one can do that for them. They have to want to do that for themselves! Sex therapy is not going to repair years of wrong thinking and depravity within the heart and mind of an individual.
So where does that leave you, the one who has been cheated on? It leaves you with the responsibility of taking care of YOU! Instead of making yourself the victim, look at this problem straight on and truly see who the victim is here.. It is the cheating spouse. You see, we create victimization in our selves by how we handle tribulations such as these in our marriage. I wrote this in the effort to help YOU understand and the cheating spouse understand what YOU BOTH NEED to do for restoring your marriage. You can do it God's way by applying the encouragement and advice from your personal life and marriage, or you can do it your way. It's up to you.
God Saves Marriages Some people think that we have some kind of quick magic to make marriage all better, but we can only listen, encourage, and guide you in the direction that we know is best for your marriage according to biblical principles. But you have to do the work!! It is by your efforts, putting God and your marriage first and working towards being the loving spouse God created you to be for each other that brings marital blessings. Only God can save marriage from adultery!
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