FORGIVING YOURSELF

This is an excellent companion to a couple teachings I published entitled, "It's vital to love yourself" and "The forgiveness of sins". If you look in the mirror and look yourself in the eyes but you don't like the person you see, then you need to forgive yourself and learn how to love the person that God has made in you! This is what we call a stronghold, or an incorrect thinking pattern that needs to be torn down in your mind. If you have repented of your sins, and taken them before the Lord, then you are forgiven... and now you need to come to realize the power of that. You need to stop associating your failures with your "new creation" image, for God's Word says...

2 Corinthians 5:17, "Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new."

Can you honestly look in the mirror and tell yourself, "I love you" and mean it with your heart? I'm not talking about a prideful way, but a humble means of accepting who God has formed in you. We need to love and accept the person that Christ has made in us, and forgive ourselves as Christ has forgiven us!

The importance of forgiving yourself

When you look inside, you hate yourself, you could kick yourself over and over for your past failures and choices. You've came to Jesus and repented, but you haven't really accepted the truth about what Jesus has done for you yet. You still feel ashamed and guilty over your past and you keep holding it against yourself. The way you see yourself is not an accurate picture of what Christ has done for you. It is basically denying the work that Jesus accomplished for you on the cross! If your sins are forgiven, then you need to see yourself as separated from your sins... but no, the enemy will try diligently to remind you of your past and continue to beat you up over sins that were supposed to be nailed to the cross. You are wrapped up in guilt and condemnation my friend... and you NEED to forgive yourself. You can go through deliverance, but if you don't forgive yourself for the mistakes you've made, you won't experience the breakthrough that you need to be totally set free.

When the recipient of a gift receives it gladly and with joy, the giver is glorified. But when the recipient receives the gift, but ignores it, the giver is mocked, belittled and feels unappreciated. When we fail to forgive ourselves, we are like a child who is given a trip to Disney World for Christmas, yet he keeps complaining that he can't go... even after his parents have already packed the car and are waiting on him to get in! How would would you feel if you were that child's parents? Wouldn't you feel sick inside, knowing that you spend all that money on this trip, the tickets, the hotel reservations, etc., and your son refuses to go because he doesn't believe that what you gave him was real? Think how your heavenly Father feels when He looks down and sees His children walking around beating themselves up over things that He shed His blood so that they could be forgiven and set free from?

I believe it is clear that failing to forgive ourselves from our past mistakes is denying the work of the cross and the shed Blood of Christ in our live. When God's Word tells us that we've been washed clean with the Blood of Christ, and our sins are removed through the atoning work that Jesus did for us... yet we still "could kick ourselves" for our mistakes, then we are basically saying, "I don't care what the Blood of Jesus has done, I still hate myself for what I've done!" It's stagging to think such a thing, but that is what really happens when we refuse to forgive ourselves.

If you don't see yourself as a new creature in Christ, then you have a serious problem. You will be hindered and held back from freely and confidently living out who you really are in Christ! You will be hesitant and feel unworthy to approach your Heavenly Father, because you feel you're a failure and unworthy... this is why it is vital for your conscience to be cleansed of dead works (your past failures)...

Hebrews 9:14, "How much more shall the blood of Christ, who through the eternal Spirit offered himself without spot to God, purge your conscience from dead works to serve the living God?"

Failing to forgive yourself will put blinders on your spiritual eyesight quickly. It will cause you to see things through the eyes of guilt, shame and condemnation. It will ruin your faith, and cause you to go blind spiritually:

2 Peter 1:9, "But he that lacketh these things is blind, and cannot see afar off, and hath forgotten that he was purged from his old sins."

In the following verse, we are told to forgive one another, but did you know that the root word for the phrase "one another" actually includes yourself? The Greek root word Heautou refers not only to others, but also to ourselves!

Colossians 3:13, "Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye."

Unforgiveness is a known door opener to torment from demonic spirits. Matthew 18:23-35 tells us how the unforgiving person is turned over into the hands of tormenters (that is, tormenting spirits). If we are unforgiving towards ourself, we open that door for tormenting spirits to come against us because we are not really accepting the work that Christ did for us on the cross. Another key to the demonic is bitterness, and when we become bitter with ourselves, we become defiled spiritually:

Hebrews 12:15, "Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled."

God's Word tells us that Jesus purged (that is, removed) our sin (Hebrews 1:3, "...when he had by himself purged our sins..."), but if we fail to forgive ourselves, we are in essence, calling God's Word a liar! We are saying, "I hate myself because I did that sin... I won't forgive myself of it!" when God's Word tells us that the sin has been PURGED or REMOVED from us... who are we to say that it is still part of our past? We are in essence, calling God's Word a LIE!

I can't tell you how important it is to realize that when the recipient of a gift (you and I) receives a gift (of Jesus' shed blood for the forgiveness of our sins) with joy and enjoys it to the fullness, the giver of that gift (that is Jesus) is glorified! Failing to forgive ourselves is denying or rejecting the gift of God and brings no glory (actually dishonor and humiliation) to what Jesus did for us.

What Hebrews chapter 10 has to say...

Hebrews 10:1-22, "For the law having a shadow of good things to come, and not the very image of the things, can never with those sacrifices which they offered year by year continually make the comers thereunto perfect. For then would they not have ceased to be offered? because that the worshipers once purged should have had no more conscience of sins. But in those sacrifices there is a remembrance again made of sins every year. For it is not possible that the blood of bulls and of goats should take away sins. Wherefore when he cometh into the world, he saith, Sacrifice and offering thou wouldest not, but a body hast thou prepared me: In burnt offerings and sacrifices for sin thou hast had no pleasure. Then said I, Lo, I come (in the volume of the book it is written of me,) to do thy will, O God. Above when he said, Sacrifice and offering and burnt offerings and offering for sin thou wouldest not, neither hadst pleasure therein; which are offered by the law; Then said he, Lo, I come to do thy will, O God. He taketh away the first, that he may establish the second. By the which will we are sanctified through the offering of the body of Jesus Christ once for all. And every priest standeth daily ministering and offering oftentimes the same sacrifices, which can never take away sins: But this man, after he had offered one sacrifice for sins forever, sat down on the right hand of God; From henceforth expecting till his enemies be made his footstool. For by one offering he hath perfected forever them that are sanctified. Whereof the Holy Ghost also is a witness to us: for after that he had said before, This is the covenant that I will make with them after those days, saith the Lord, I will put my laws into their hearts, and in their minds will I write them; And their sins and iniquities will I remember no more. Now where remission of these is, there is no more offering for sin. Having therefore, brethren, boldness to enter into the holiest by the blood of Jesus, By a new and living way, which he hath consecrated for us, through the veil, that is to say, his flesh; And having a high priest over the house of God; Let us draw near with a true heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled from an evil conscience, and our bodies washed with pure water."

Step #1, be honest with yourself

Realize that down deep inside, you're not happy with the person of your past. If you are in denial, then forget trying to treat the root of your problem. You need to see the problem before you can apply the solution. It might even be helpful to list all of the things that you hate about your past, and one-by-one, give them to the Lord and release yourself from each failure.

Step #2, you need to realize that your debt has been PAID

The only way that you can beat yourself up, after Jesus has paid your debt, is if you aren't accepting the gift that He has given you. If He's paid the debt, and you keep denying that fact, then you are rejecting the very gift that God has given you! You need to accept what Jesus has done for you by faith.

Galatians 2:16, "Knowing that a man is not justified by the works of the law, but by the faith of Jesus Christ, even we have believed in Jesus Christ, that we might be justified by the faith of Christ, and not by the works of the law: for by the works of the law shall no flesh be justified."

The blood of Jesus was shed for the payment of your sins:

Matthew 26:28, "For this is my blood of the new testament, which is shed for many for the remission of sins."

Because of the powerful work that Christ did for us on the cross, God's Word tells us to come boldly unto the throne of grace, so that we can obtain mercy:

Hebrews 4:16, "Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need."

The price for your redemption has been paid in full. It's up to you receive it and realize that the blood of Jesus actually removes the sin from your record. Now you need to see yourself as being forgiven and justified (which means, "just as if you've never sinned").

In Luke 7, Jesus took a very sinful woman (likely a prostitute) and freely washed her clean without hesitation...

Luke 7:47, "Wherefore I say unto thee, Her sins, which are many, are forgiven; for she loved much: but to whom little is forgiven, the same loveth little."

The above verse is just one example of how freely Jesus would forgive a person of their sins. It is true that if we take our sin to Jesus, He will freely forgive us without hesitation:

Romans 3:24, "Being justified freely by his grace through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus:"

There is also no sin that you can take to Jesus, which He will not forgive... for the Bible tells us that He is prepared to cleanse us of ALL unrighteousness if we will turn to Him with our failures!

1 John 1:9, "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."

Step #3, allow the Holy Spirit to heal your soul

You need to let God heal you... as long as you keep holding something against yourself, you are blocking the Holy Spirit's power from entering and healing that area of your mind and life! You need to open up your heart, and allow the light of Christ to shine into the darkness of your soul.

Step #4, begin to see the "new creature" of Christ within you

You are not seeing yourself as you really are. If you've repented of your past, and sought God's forgiveness, then you are forgiven or justified (which means "just as if I've never sinned"). It's not that you should try to forget what happened (don't remind yourself of it either though), but the important key is to see your past through the Blood of Jesus. You need to see your past as "paid in full" by the work that Christ did for you on the cross! Seeing things with this perspective changes everything! You need to begin seeing yourself through the blood of Jesus.

One day, when the enemy was trying to beat me up over my past, the Holy Spirit spoke clearly to me and said, "You need to KNOW that you're clean... your faith depends upon it!"

Some Bible verses to meditate on

I encourage you to repeat these scriptures out loud, for there is indeed power in the spoken confession of God's truth. Do this on a regular (daily) bases and it will begin to renew your mind according to the truth found in God's Word.

2 Corinthians 5:17, "Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new."

Say to yourself, "I am a new creation in Christ, old things have passed away and all things become new."

1 John 1:9, "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."

Say to yourself, "When I confess my sin, He is faithful and just and will forgive me it, regardless what kind of unrighteousness I may have committed."

Colossians 3:13, "Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye."

Say to yourself, "I will love and forgive myself, as Christ has forgiven me."

Psalms 103:12, "As far as the east is from the west, so far hath he removed our transgressions from us."

Say to yourself, "My sins are not simply covered, but they are removed from me... taken so far from me, that there is no way that they can be considered a part of me anymore!"

Revelations 1:5, "And from Jesus Christ, who... washed us from our sins in his own blood."

Say to yourself, "I am washed from my sins by the Blood of Christ Jesus Himself."

Matthew 26:28, "For this is my blood of the new testament, which is shed for many for the remission of sins." (The NT Greek tells us that the word 'remission' here means, "Forgiveness or pardon, of sins (letting them go as if they had never been committed), remission of the penalty.")

Say to yourself, "Because the Blood of Christ was shed for me, I am let go as if I have never sinned."

Romans 5:1, "Therefore being justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ."

Say to yourself, "I have been justified (made right, as if I have never sinned) by faith and have peace with God through my Lord Jesus Christ."

Galatians 2:16, "Knowing that a man is not justified by the works of the law, but by the faith of Jesus Christ, even we have believed in Jesus Christ, that we might be justified by the faith of Christ, and not by the works of the law: for by the works of the law shall no flesh be justified."

Say to yourself, "I cannot be justified by works of the law or acts of righteousness, but by my faith in Christ Jesus."

Romans 3:22, "Even the righteousness of God which is by faith of Jesus Christ unto all and upon all them that believe: for there is no difference."

Say to yourself, "Because I believe, the righteousness of God is upon me."

Romans 4:3-8, "For what saith the Scripture? Abraham believed God, and it was counted unto him for righteousness. Now to him that worketh is the reward not reckoned of grace, but of debt. But to him that worketh not, but believeth on him that justifieth the ungodly, his faith is counted for righteousness. Even as David also describeth the blessedness of the man, unto whom God imputeth righteousness without works, Saying, Blessed are they whose iniquities are forgiven, and whose sins are covered. Blessed is the man to whom the Lord will not impute sin."

Say to yourself, "The righteousness of God is upon me, not as a result of works of the law, but through faith in Christ Jesus, and the grace of God. I did not earn it, yet He gave it to me, and I receive it by faith in Christ Jesus."

Galatians 2:20, "I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me." Romans 6:4, "Therefore we are buried with him by baptism into death: that like as Christ was raised up from the dead by the glory of the Father, even so we also should walk in newness of life."

Say to yourself, "The old me has been crucified and my old man has been buried with Christ. Now my life is in Christ as I have been raised to life with Him and I am free to walk in the newness of life."

Isaiah 43:25, "I, even I, am he that blotteth out thy transgressions for mine own sake, and will not remember thy sins."

Say to yourself, "My Heavenly Father chose to forget my past sins for HIS sake. When He looks at me, He doesn't want to see my sin... He wants to see His precious creation which was purchased and justified with the Blood of His Son Jesus Christ."

Hebrews 9:14, "How much more shall the blood of Christ, who through the eternal Spirit offered himself without spot to God, purge your conscience from dead works to serve the living God?"

Say to yourself, "Because of the Blood of Christ, my conscience can be purged of dead works (your past failures) so that I can serve the Living God."

Hebrews 10:22, "...draw near with a true heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled from an evil conscience, and our bodies washed with pure water."

Say to yourself, "Not only did God chose to forget my sins, but He also wants me to forget them as well. He wants me to draw near to Him with a true heart, in full assurance of faith, being sprinkled clean from an evil conscience."

Romans 8:1, "There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit."

Say to yourself, "I am in Christ Jesus, and therefore free from condemnation."

Closing thoughts

Failing to see yourself as God's Word sees you is denying the very work that Jesus did for us when He suffered and died on our behalf. Don't let this continue in your life another day... accept the free gift of God and begin to see yourself as a new creation in Christ Jesus, who's past failures have been purchased with the precious Blood of Jesus!

If you hate the person that you are, but God's Word tells us that you are a new creation that's been washed clean with the Blood of Christ, who "past" has been purchased with the work that Christ did for us on the cross... do you hate that person? Do you hate the new creation that God's made you? Or are you still a sinner in need of salvation? Are you in Christ or not?

Romans 8:1, "There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit."

Do you want to bring glory and honor to Jesus? Then accept His gift with great joy, and begin to see yourself as that new creation... begin to see your past failures as being "paid in full" by the great sacrifice that Christ made for you. Begin to see you the same way that your Heavenly Father sees you!