The object of sexual stimulation should be the body of your own spouse, not sexually explicit pictures and videos wherein the other person’s body is viewed for sensual provocation.
Many don’t give careful thought to what happens when couples watch pornography together for the purpose of stimulating themselves to have sexual intercourse. Are they
are not receiving sensual stimulation from others’ bodies, nakedness and sexual act? Don’t you think the bodies of other people would become more stimulating for them than the
body of their own spouse? Who ultimately is your source of sexual pleasure—your own spouse or that sexually explicit person in porn?
Here is a fact which many are unaware.
Porn stars often build up the structure of their bodies for public attraction. Their breasts and
genitals are enhanced surgically. They project themselves in such a sexy way that they become irresistibly fascinating.
Now how does this impact the couple who watch these unusual bodies? The bodies of their own spouses become unappealing in comparison to those projected in porn. Women in particular may feel inferior when they see their body structure not as fascinating as
women in porn. Men may even compare their wives with those women in porn, finding themselves more dissatisfied with their wives and more lustful towards other women. They may crave and cherish more of who they see
and what they see in porn than their actual marriage partner.
Some women from a study stated:
“I am no longer sexually
attractive or desirable to
him.” “He’s more attracted to
the women depicted in the
movies, magazines, and
websites than he is to me,
and I feel completely unable
to compete with these
women.” Research has shown
that most men experience
decreased sexual intimacy
with their marriage partner
when they are given to porn.
(The Men’s and Women’s
Program, 2011, pg. 140-141)
Dear couples, do you hear this? In making a decision to watch porn alone or with your spouse, rather than resisting it, you are making a choice to lose yourself from each other’s world.
Beware, it could also become an
addiction without which, i.e. without looking at the naked bodies and sexual intercourse of other people, you cannot enjoy sex together.
Besides, here is another dangerous thing that could happen when couples watch porn: When watching porn together with a purpose of engaging into sexual activity, there is a high possibility for either of them or both to secretly fantasize having sex with the person in porn while actually having sex with their own spouse.
Take note of this: since mind is prone
to easily absorb sensual images, what we watch has a terrible impact upon how we think, fantasize and act.
One woman expressed her embarrassment this way: "I am no longer a sexual person or partner to him, but a sexual object. He is not
really with me, not really making love to me… He seems to be thinking about something else
– likely those porn women… He is just using me
as a warm body."
Therefore, dear husbands and wives, let the
source and contentment of sexual pleasure be
the body of your spouse, not those sexually
explicit images and videos of strangers that rob
true sexual pleasure within marriage.
Some justify watching porn to learn some sex
positions in order to enjoy good sex in
marriage. However, the fact is pornography
mostly portrays sex in unrealistic ways,
particularly hardcore porn wherein sexual
images and videos are more violent and has
negative impact upon sexual relationship with
one’s spouse. But there are good books written
with balance and decency about how to stimulate each other sexually, providing good sex techniques for sexual fulfillment in marriage.
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