Some say love is an act of benevolence. That is not totally true. People can do a beneficial action with an unloving attitude.
The husband who says with a harsh voice, "OK, I'll take the garbage out if you will get off my back" has not performed an act of love.
The husband who mows the grass simply because his wife has been nagging him for weeks is doing a kind act, but it may be done to silence her critical words.
The wife who agrees to be sexually intimate with her husband simply out of a sense of duty or guilt is not performing an act of love, either.
Love is the choice to cooperate with God in serving your spouse. The individuals who truly love see themselves as God's agents for enriching the lives of their marriage partner. For them, love is a way of life. They are constantly looking for ways to help, encourage and support the partner.
Such love often stimulates warm, romantic feelings in the heart of the spouse. Emotions are the icing on the cake. But without a loving attitude and appropriate behavior, the icing will melt.
A man I spoke of in the first part of this series, the one who sat in my office complaining that he did not love his wife, eventually discovered the biblical concept of love. And with the help of God, he committed himself to loving his wife. His wife reciprocated his love, and their marriage was reborn.
I have seen this happen hundreds of times over the past 15 years as I have counseled couples. It can also happen in your marriage.
The Scriptures say the Holy Spirit pours the love of God in our hearts (Romans 5:5).
God wants to use you in your marriage. Ask Him to give you a loving attitude toward your spouse and to pour out His love through you. It is a prayer God will answer.
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