DEALING WITH SELF ABSORBED PEOPLE

Self Absorbed People

Self absorbed people quickly suck the energy out of family, friends and coworkers. Self awareness and clear boundaries are the best ways to deal with them.

People who focus exclusively on themselves by continually bringing the conversation back to their life and circumstances, whether positive or negative, and who are quick to blame others for not meeting their needs, are described as being self absorbed, self centered or even narcissistic in extreme cases.

Self absorbed people can be charming. At first their stories may be interesting and even entertaining, but after a while listening to a self centered person talk on and on about themselves can be draining. It's as though they are sucking the life energy out of the person they are speaking to. They seem to become more energized while the listener fades away and if a friend or family member doesn't put the self absorbed person's needs first – look out, they're in big trouble.

How to Deal With a Self Absorbed Person

Many people have a self centered person in their life that they can't avoid such as a family member or co-worker. Try the following ideas for dealing with self-absorbed people so your energy doesn't get drained.

Stay focused within. Self absorbed people suck the energy out of others by being the center of attention. They want others' ears, eyes and thoughts on them. Keep part of your focus on your breathing, body sensations, and inner emotions - don't give it all away and you'll feel less drained.Turn the conversation around. Look for opportunities to talk about a common interest or a comparable situation in your life. Whenever there is a break, pause or breath between words, jump in with your side of things as a refresher.Stay in a group. Within a group of people there is bound to be an exchange of conversation which will prevent the self absorbed person from having all the attention, so make sure there is at least one other person around when you interact with the self centered person.Discover their underlying needs. Underneath self absorption is the need for attention and approval. What message might help fill this person's need so they can relax in the conversation, perhaps a true compliment or acknowledgment?Be careful what you promise. Some self absorbed people have a tendency to ask for favors and expect others to bend over backwards for them. Only promise what you can deliver and don't take responsibility for their neediness.Communicate your needs. Tell them how you are affected by their self focused behavior and what you need from them. Communicating from the heart and soul will help them to hear and understand better.Set clear boundaries. Define your boundaries by deciding when, where and how much time to spend together. Choose times to get together when you feel strong and energized. Have a back up plan for when it's time to leave. Learn how to say "no" without feeling guilty.Set energy boundaries. Each person has an energy field around them that is part of their personal space. Become aware of energy boundaries so you can protect your personal space.

Maintain an inward focus, include others in the conversation, and set clear boundaries as a way to stay energized and feel less drained when spending time with a self-absorbed person. If this doesn't work, it may be time to cut them loose from your life.

 

Self Absorbed People

Self absorbed people quickly suck the energy out of family, friends and coworkers. Self awareness and clear boundaries are the best ways to deal with them.

People who focus exclusively on themselves by continually bringing the conversation back to their life and circumstances, whether positive or negative, and who are quick to blame others for not meeting their needs, are described as being self absorbed, self centered or even narcissistic in extreme cases.

Self absorbed people can be charming. At first their stories may be interesting and even entertaining, but after a while listening to a self centered person talk on and on about themselves can be draining. It's as though they are sucking the life energy out of the person they are speaking to. They seem to become more energized while the listener fades away and if a friend or family member doesn't put the self absorbed person's needs first – look out, they're in big trouble.

How to Deal With a Self Absorbed Person

Many people have a self centered person in their life that they can't avoid such as a family member or co-worker. Try the following ideas for dealing with self-absorbed people so your energy doesn't get drained.

Stay focused within. Self absorbed people suck the energy out of others by being the center of attention. They want others' ears, eyes and thoughts on them. Keep part of your focus on your breathing, body sensations, and inner emotions - don't give it all away and you'll feel less drained.Turn the conversation around. Look for opportunities to talk about a common interest or a comparable situation in your life. Whenever there is a break, pause or breath between words, jump in with your side of things as a refresher.Stay in a group. Within a group of people there is bound to be an exchange of conversation which will prevent the self absorbed person from having all the attention, so make sure there is at least one other person around when you interact with the self centered person.Discover their underlying needs. Underneath self absorption is the need for attention and approval. What message might help fill this person's need so they can relax in the conversation, perhaps a true compliment or acknowledgment?Be careful what you promise. Some self absorbed people have a tendency to ask for favors and expect others to bend over backwards for them. Only promise what you can deliver and don't take responsibility for their neediness.Communicate your needs. Tell them how you are affected by their self focused behavior and what you need from them. Communicating from the heart and soul will help them to hear and understand better.Set clear boundaries. Define your boundaries by deciding when, where and how much time to spend together. Choose times to get together when you feel strong and energized. Have a back up plan for when it's time to leave. Learn how to say "no" without feeling guilty.Set energy boundaries. Each person has an energy field around them that is part of their personal space. Become aware of energy boundaries so you can protect your personal space.

Maintain an inward focus, include others in the conversation, and set clear boundaries as a way to stay energized and feel less drained when spending time with a self-absorbed person. If this doesn't work, it may be time to cut them loose from your life.