HOW CAN I OVERCOME A HABITUAL SIN?

The first thing to consider in how to overcome habitual sin is to note the change, or transformation, that takes place when a person is saved. The Bible describes the natural man as “dead in sin and trespasses” (Ephesians 2:1). As a result of Adam’s fall into sin, man is born spiritually dead. In this state of spiritual death, man is unable and unwilling to follow and obey God and habitual sin naturally follows. Natural man sees the things of God as foolishness (1 Corinthians 2:14) and is hostile toward God (Romans 8:7). When a person is saved, a transformation takes place. The apostle Paul refers to this as the new creation (2 Corinthians 5:17). From the moment we place our faith in Christ, we are in the process of sanctification.

The process ofsanctificationis that by which those who are in Christ are conformed by the Holy Spirit into the image of Christ (Romans 8:29). Sanctification in this life will never be fully complete, which means that believers will always struggle with remaining sin. Paul describes this battle with sin inRomans 7:15–25. In that passage he notes that, even though he desires to do what is good in the eyes of God, he often does what is evil instead. He does the evil he doesn’t want to do and fails to do the good that he wants to do. In this, he is describing every Christian’s struggle with sin.

James says we all sin in different ways (James 3:2), and that means each of us has what may be called “besetting” sins. Some sins are easier to overcome than others. Some struggle with anger, others with gossip, and others with lying. The point is that each of us has a sin (or some sins) with which we struggle. These besetting sins are often, but not exclusively, habits that we developed during our lives as unbelievers and require more grace and discipline to overcome.

Part of the process of overcoming these habitual, or besetting, sins is in recognizing the transformation that has indeed taken place within the believer. Paul writes, “So you also must consider yourselves dead to sin and alive to God in Christ Jesus” (Romans 6:11). When Paul says, “Consider yourselves dead to sin,” he is telling us to remember that, in coming to Christ, the power of sin has been broken in our lives. He uses the metaphor of slavery to make this point. We were at one time slaves to sin, but now we are slaves to righteousness (Romans 6:17–18). At the cross the power of sin was broken, and, in becoming Christians, we are set free from sin’s mastery over us. Therefore, when a Christian sins, it is no longer out of the necessity of his nature, but because he has willfully submitted himself to sin’s dominion (Galatians 5:1).

The next part of the process is recognizing our inability to overcome habitual sin and our need to rely on the power of God’s Holy Spirit, who dwells within us. Back toRomans 7. Paul says, “For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out” (Romans 7:25). The Christian’s struggle against sin is one in which our ability does not match our desire. That is why we need the power of the Holy Spirit. Paul later says, “If the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, he who raised Christ Jesus from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through his Spirit who dwells in you” (Romans 8:11). The Holy Spirit, through God’s Word (John 17:17), works sanctification in the people of God. Habitual sin is overcome as we submit ourselves to God and refuse the temptations of the flesh (James 4:7–8).

Another part of the process of overcoming habitual sin is to change the habits that facilitate it. We have to adopt the attitude of Joseph who, when tempted by Potiphar’s wife to come to bed with her, left the room so quickly that he left his cloak in her hands (Genesis 39:15). We simply must make every effort to run from the things that tempt us to sin, including access to food if we are given to overeating, and access to pornography if we are tempted to sexual sin. Jesus tells us to cut off our hand or pluck out our eye if they “offend” us (Matthew 5:29–30). This means removing from our lives anything, even those things close to us, if they tempt us to sin. In short, we have to change the habits that lead to habitual sin.

Finally, we need to immerse ourselves in the truth of the gospel. The gospel is not only the means by which we are saved, but it is also the means by which we are sanctified (Romans 16:25). If we think we are saved by grace, but sanctified by our own efforts, we fall into error (Galatians 3:1–3). Sanctification is as much a work of God as justification. The promise we have from Scripture is that He who began a good work in us will complete it on the last day (Philippians 1:6).

IN REGARDS TO FORGIVENESS, IS THERE A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN WILFUL SIN AND IGNORANT SIN?

Though God makes a distinction between those who sin in ignorance and those who sin willfully (Numbers 15:27-31), repentance is always necessary to receive forgiveness (Mark 1:15;Acts 2:38;Acts 26:18). Repentance is literally a change in one's attitude about God and accompanies saving faith in Christ (Acts 3:19;20:21;26:20). Without it there can be no forgiveness. Jesus said, “No, I tell you; but unless you repent, you will all likewise perish” (Luke 13:3;17:3-4;2 Peter 3:9).

To sin willfully is to go back to trusting oneself rather than the blood of Christ for our forgiveness (Hebrews 10:26;Hebrews 6:4-6). However, sinning in ignorance is not excusable, either: “Now this I say and testify in the Lord, that you must no longer walk as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their minds. They are darkened in their understanding, alienated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them, due to their hardness of heart. They have become callous and have given themselves up to sensuality, greedy to practice every kind of impurity” (Ephesians 4:17-19; see alsoActs 3:17-19;Acts 17:30-31).

Those who crucified Christ sinned in ignorance, yet they were still held responsible for their actions. Jesus, while hanging on the cross, prayed, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do” (Luke 23:34). However, of all those who were present at Christ’s crucifixion, only one accepted His forgiveness and, correspondingly, His salvation (Luke 23:43). Jesus had the power to forgive all the evil people gathered around His cross and make them right with God, but the only person who repented was one of the criminals beside Him. All the others, who rejected Christ and His forgiveness, apparently died in their sins. There is no record that they ever repented. Forgiveness is available to all, but we leave it to God’s sovereign grace to cause the transgressor to truly repent in order to be pardoned (Ephesians 2:4).

Those who reject Jesus and His gospel in ignorance must accept Him in repentance in order to receive forgiveness of their sins (Luke 17:3). Jesus made this abundantly clear: “I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me” (John 14:6). It doesn’t matter whether someone misses the way because of ignorance or because of willful rebellion—he has still missed the way.

People are not as ignorant as they may claim, however. No one can be utterly ignorant of God, and no one has an excuse to live in disobedience. The Apostle Paul said, “For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men, who by their unrighteousness suppress the truth. For what can be known about God is plain to them, because God has shown it to them. For his invisible attributes, namely, his eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly perceived, ever since the creation of the world, in the things that have been made. So they are without excuse” (Romans 1:18-20).

Though we may at times sin in ignorance, we can always be assured of God’s forgiveness. The Apostle Paul is a classic example of this truth: “Though formerly I was a blasphemer, persecutor, and insolent opponent. But I received mercy because I had acted ignorantly in unbelief” (1 Timothy 1:13). Yet for those who willfully and habitually sin, Peter makes it clear that “if, after they have escaped the defilements of the world through the knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, they are again entangled in them and overcome, the last state has become worse for them than the first. For it would have been better for them never to have known the way of righteousness than after knowing it to turn back from the holy commandment delivered to them” (2 Peter 2:20-21).

John gives us the bottom line when it comes to forgiveness: ”If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:8-9).

WHAT IS THE KEY TO VICTORY WHEN STRUGGLING WITH SIN?

The key to victory in our struggles with sin lies not in ourselves, but in God and His faithfulness to us: “The LORD is near to all who call on Him, to all who call on Him in truth (Psalm 145:18; see alsoPsalm 46:1).

There’s no getting around it: we all struggle with sin (Romans 3:23). Even the great apostle Paul lamented over his ongoing struggle with sin in his life: “For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me” (Romans 7:18-20). Paul’s struggle with sin was real; so much so that he cried out, “What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death?” (Romans 7:24).

Yet in the next breath, he answers his own question, as well as ours: “Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord!” (Romans 7:25a). In this passage, Paul not only provides us with the very key to victory when struggling with sin, but explains the never-ending conundrum between our sinful nature and spiritual nature: “So then, I myself serve the law of God with my mind, but with my flesh I serve the law of sin” (Romans 7:25b).

Earlier, Paul said, “For we know that the law is spiritual, but I am of the flesh, sold under sin” (Romans 7:14). Paul is comparing our sinful nature, our flesh, to that of a slave. Just as a slave obeys his master, so our flesh obeys sin. However, as believers in Christ, we have become spiritual beings under the law of Christ; our inner selves are under the influence and ownership of God’s grace and the life of Christ (Romans 5:21). As long as we are living in this world, our sinful nature and fleshly desire will remain with us. But we also have a new nature in Christ. This leads to a struggle between what we want to do and what we actually do, as sin continues to assault our earthly nature. This struggle is a normal part of living the Christian life.

It’s interesting to note that Paul, the greatest of the apostles, declared that, of all sinners, “I am the worst!” (1 Timothy 1:15). Paul affirms the struggles we all have as we battle with sin and temptation in our lives. The struggles are real, and they’re debilitating. We grow weary from the never-ending temptations and in falling short of God’s glory. Paul, in essence, is telling us that we need not pretend that we’re untouched by our struggles. He’s been there. He understands. Though our efforts to do right seem desperate, we do have hope “through Jesus Christ our Lord” (Romans 7:25;Hebrews 4:15). And He, in fact, is the key to our victory over sin.

A true Christian will war with Satan and his daily efforts to undermine us. The devil is the ruler of this world, and we are living “behind enemy lines” (Ephesians 2:2;Ephesians 6:12;John 12:31). With our focus on Christ, however, we will be able to cultivate a mindset that proclaims we’d rather die than do anything to hurt God. When we give ourselves to Christ totally (Matthew 16:24), Satan will flee from us. When we draw near to God, He, in turn, will draw near to us (James 4:7-8).

Our key to victory in our struggle with sin lies in the very promise of God Himself: “No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and He will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation He will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it” (1 Corinthians 10:13).

As true believers in Christ, even when we “face trials far beyond our ability to endure” (2 Corinthians 1:8), we can echo the reassuring words of Paul, who declares, “God has delivered us and will continue to deliver us” (2 Corinthians 1:10). Finally, the psalmist gives us these words of encouragement: “Trust in the LORD, and do good; dwell in the land and befriend faithfulness. Delight yourself in the LORD, and He will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the LORD; trust in Him, and He will act” (Psalm 37:3-5).

HOW CAN I LEARN TO HATE MY OWN SIN?

Romans 12:9says, “Hate what is evil; cling to what is good.” These actions are two sides of the same coin, and they are mutually dependent. Our grip on the good will be tenuous indeed if we don’t learn to hate the evil.

Hating sin in other people is comparatively easy. We’re adept at finding the speck in our neighbor’s eye, even while the plank is embedded in our own (Luke 6:42). Most of us have a pet sin or two that we have a high tolerance for and readily excuse. “one cunning bosom-sin.” So, hating our own heart’s sin is easier said than done. Our flesh is sin’s ally (Galatians 5:17), and we fight against our own natural desires in our struggle to “be holy in all” (1 Peter 1:15).

The first step in hating our own sin is to acknowledge that we have sin. “If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us” (1 John 1:8). We must be open and honest before the Lord. David’s prayer should be a model for us: “Search me, O God, and know my heart. . . . See if there is any offensive way in me” (Psalm 139:23-24). When wefear God(Proverbs 8:13) and humbly acknowledge our sin, we are in a position to receive His comfort (Isaiah 57:15).

The better we know God, the more we will hate our sin. The psalmist speaks of the “splendor” of God’s holiness (Psalm 29:2). The clearer that splendor is to us, the more we will eschew anything that threatens to obscure or distort that brilliance. The lover of light will naturally hate darkness. The closer we draw to God’s beauty, the uglier our own sin becomes to us, because imperfection, side by side with perfection, is always glaringly insufficient (Isaiah 6:5). To better know God, we must spend time in His Holy Word, the Bible (Psalm 119:11,163). And we must commune with Him in prayer. It is impossible to pray in earnest and not feel convicted by our own sin. Prayer leads to a hatred of sin as it leads us into a closer relationship with God.

The better we understand the consequences of sin, the more we will hate sin in our own lives. Sin is what separates us from God. Sin enslaves us (John 8:34). Sin is what brought sickness, sorrow, shame, and death into the world (Genesis 2:17). Sin is the root cause of all war, fighting, pain, and injustice. Sin is why hell exists. When we consider the horrible effects of sin in the world at large, we are grieved to discover the same sin lurking in our own hearts. We hate that we contribute to the pain of the world.

The better we understand the source of sin, the more we will hate it in ourselves. Satan is the originator of sin (Ezekiel 28:15). Before salvation, we were children of the devil (John 8:44). As believers, we still face Satan’s temptations and struggle with the “old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires” (Ephesians 4:22). When we “gratify the desires of the sinful nature” (Romans 13:14), we are dabbling again in the uncleanness and corruption of the devil.

The more we love God, the more we will hate our sin. We are not our own, but we belong to God (1 Corinthians 6:20). The Lord has given us the very breath of life, and our sin grieves Him (Ephesians 4:30). Why would we tolerate that which grieves the One we love? A mother hates the sickness that incapacitates her child, and, if we really love the Lord, we will hate the sin that grieves Him.

The more clearly we see our potential, the more we will hate our sin. Think what the soul of man is made for! We are made to love, obey, and glorify our Maker. We are made to reason, invent, grow, and explore. What an excellent and high and holy work we are called to! Sin is what disables and perverts our God-given potential. Once we realize God’s original plan for us, it becomes natural to hate sin.

The more we care about our unsaved friends and family, the more we will hate our sin. When others see our good works, they glorify our Father in heaven (Matthew 5:16). However, if what they see is our sin, God’s enemies will blaspheme (2 Samuel 12:14). As our personal sin is a detriment to our testimony, we hate it all the more. Our light should not be hidden under a bushel basket (Matthew 5:15). Light was meant to shine, and sin shrouds.

The better we understand the sacrifice of Christ, the more we will hate our sin. Jesus, the only innocent Man, shed His blood to save us from our sin. In a very real way, our sin caused His death. Our sin scourged Him, beat Him, mocked Him, and finally nailed Him to a cross. And “we turned our backs on him and looked the other way” (Isaiah 53:3, NLT). Once we understand the price Jesus paid for our salvation, we will love Him even more, and we will hate what caused His pain.

The more often we consider eternity, the more we will hate our sin. “Man is destined to die once, and after that to face judgment” (Hebrews 9:27). No one will still love sin after he dies. The sooner we think of sin not as a pleasure but as the basis of the coming judgment, the sooner we will hate our own sin.

Christians still sin even after being saved. The difference is that we no longer love our sin; in fact, we hate the impurity within us and engage in a spiritual battle to defeat it. Praise the Lord, we have the victory in Christ: “The word of God abides in you, and you have overcome the wicked one” (1 John 2:14).

WHEN, WHY, AND HOW DOES THE LORD GOD DISCIPLINE US WHEN WE SIN?

The Lord's discipline is an often-ignored fact of life for believers. We often complain about our circumstances without realizing that they are the consequences of our own sin and are a part of the Lord's loving and gracious discipline for that sin. This self-centered ignorance can contribute to the formation of habitual sin in a believer's life, incurring even greater discipline.

Discipline is not to be confused with cold-hearted punishment. The Lord's discipline is a response of His love for us and His desire for each of us to be holy. “My son, do not despise the LORD’s discipline and do not resent his rebuke, because the LORD disciplines those he loves, as a father the son he delights in” (Proverbs 3:11-12; see alsoHebrews 12:5-11). God will use testing, trials, and various predicaments to bring us back to Himself in repentance. The result of His discipline is a stronger faith and a renewed relationship with God (James 1:2-4), not to mention destroying the hold that particular sin had over us.

The Lord's discipline works for our own good, that He might be glorified with our lives. He wants us to exhibit lives of holiness, lives that reflect the new nature that God has given us: “As obedient children, do not conform to the evil desires you had when you lived in ignorance. But just as he who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do; for it is written: ‘Be holy, because I am holy’” (1 Peter 1:15-16).

BITTERNESS

Bitterness Ephesians 4:31 - Hebrew 12:14-15

          One of the great problems in the life of a Christian and in our churches is something that is hard to admit, though easy to recognize.

          It is one of the most destructive and dangerous of all human emotions and if not dealt with, will spiritually destroy the person who has it.

* It can rob you of your peace and joy.
* It is an open door for Satan to control you life.
* It can lead to the lost of good friends.
* It can hurt or destroy you relationship with your family, your wife and can even lead to the breakup of your home.
* It make peace and harmony impossible.
* There can be no true biblical love where it exists.
* It destroys any true relationship with the Lord and will keep you from growing in the Lord.
* It will defeat you and ruin your life and the lives of those around you.

What is it? It is the sin of bitterness.

          Definition: "adjective" 1 having a sharp, pungent taste or smell; not sweet. 2 causing pain or unhappiness. 3 feeling anger, hurt, and resentment. 4 (of a conflict) harsh and acrimonious - which means having ill feelings. 5 (of wind or weather) intensely cold.

          It is the feeling of hurt, resentment, anger, and even hate that can build up in our hearts when we have been hurt by another person or by an experience in life. It can be directed towards other people and even towards God.

          The Book of Hebrews was written last in the first century. Jerusalem had been destroyed, Jewish believers had been greatly persecuted. They had been harassed-mistreated. Because they believed in Christ their family and friends had turned against them.

          There was a real danger that they would turn bitter, return to Judaism and give up on the Lord. They were prime candidates for bitterness.

          Often in our lives people hurt us, take advantage of us, betray us, take credit for what we have done. Often people belittle us and elevate themselves and treat us badly....often with there being no fault of our own. We did nothing to desire it and sometimes should have been praised or recognized for what we did, but were robbed of our reward.

I. The Root of Bitterness - Its Cause.

          How does bitterness take root in your heart. Before there is a root there is a seed. The seed is planted and the plant begins to grow.

          "Root" = It exists beneath the surface, invisible to the eye, but very real. The seed is planted when someone does you wrong, or you perceive that you were wronged. It could begin when you were disappointed or hurt. Sometimes the person who hurts us does it unintentionally being insensitive to what the did or said. Other times. . .it is deliberate. In either case the seed sprouts unseen by others and it takes root.

          Problem: Don't deal with it properly - instead of returning love for hurt...we disregard the Grace of God which is God's unmerited favor. God forgives the sinner who does not deserve to be forgiven. Bitterness begins when instead of forgiving, we become resentful and bitterness grows towards them. We think the person should know what the did and should correct their behavior, but they go on as if nothing has happened. But God's word teach us that forgiveness is not based on merit, but on grace....because we choose to forgive and not hold resentment.

          In the model prayer Jesus in Matthew 6:12 said we ask for forgiveness as we are forgiving others, "And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors." The word debt means what is owed to us or in this verse someone who has offended or sinned against us.

          Jesus in Matthew 6:14-15 shows us the seriousness of the matter: "For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses."

          In Matthew 18:22 Jesus gave us the standard saying that we were to forgive seventy times seventy the person who hurts us. A BITTER PERSON IS USUALLY ONE WHO HAVE BEEN HURT.

Usually there are three ways we are hurt.

1. By what is DONE to us.
2. By what is SAID about us.
3. By what is TAKEN from us.

          Bitterness in a believer's live represents a spiritual failure. The Christian is to live by God's principles and one vital principle that is demonstrated in God's grace is that we are to forgive those that trespass against us.

          It is impossible for us to go through life without being hurt by someone. There will be times when we are wronged.

          What is frustrating is that it we have a truly been hurt and most times the person who hurt us goes on as if it did not happen. Most times there is no apparent justice and the person who hurt us so deeply receives not punishment, does not apologize and suffers no ill consequences for their act.

- A neglected or abused child. I correspondence recently with a young mother who was bitter about her father who had abused her as a child. She was now married with children, but she was very bitter. Her father was a pastor of a church! He mother stood by her father, as did the church members. He privately told her she had no right to destroy his "ministry." She was the victim and yet she was treated as if she had done wrong. She was fighting bitterness.

- A Christian man, was fired because he was honest and refused to do unethical things in business. The company continued to prosper...he lost his job.

- A faithful hard working employee is passed over for a position and it was given to someone else who did not deserve it.

- One's spouse was unfaithful and walked out on their spouse. A faithful spouse who loved their companion was betrayed.

- A person's close friend talked about them to others and betrayed them.

- A pastor is mistreated by the congregation that he faithfully and sacrificially served.

- Bothers and sisters become bitter when daddy or momma's things are divided after their deaths. One daughter for years takes care of an ailing mother at great expense of money and time. The will is read and she gets no more than the others....with no recognition for us service and love to her mother.

- One child is praised in the family and another's achievements are ignored or made little of.

- A tragedy happens in life....child is killed, mamed, wife or husbad dies leaving the spouse alone and in debt.

All these things and many many more can cause bitterness to take root in a person's heart.

II. The Fruit of Bitterness - It Results.
A. What is the result of bitterness?
1. Bitterness causes the person who holds it harm. It will rob you of your peace of mind, of joy in your life or satisfaction. Most of all it will deeply hurt your pride. 2. Saturate your mind. The root of bitterness can take hold our your mind. You find yourself thinking about the person who harmed your all the time. You cannot get over it or get it out of your mind.

          "The moment you start hating a person You become that person's slave. You can't enjoy life...he controls your thoughts...You can't escape his/her grasp on my mind. He or she may be many miles away, always in your mind."

ILLUS: The story is told of a very bitter woman who was bitten by a rabid raccoon. Test are run and the doctor tells her she has rabies. She then got out a notebook and began to write down names. The doctor asked if she was making a will. She replied, NO! I am making a list of all the people I am going to bite!
2. Bitterness will sadden your spirit. Bitterness is a depressant. There are no happy bitter people. It will make you critical, pessimistic, and negative. It will blow out the candle of joy in your heart. It will rob you of any getting any enjoyment out of life. ILLUS: It is like the character in the "Little Abner" cartoons who went around everywhere with a dark cloud over his head.

           You get the "Woe is me syndrome and everything you will be seen through the colored lens of bitterness.

3. It can sicken your body. God did not create our bodies to nurse bitter feelings towards others. It has been said that "Not every sick person is bitter, but every bitter person will eventually get sick."

4. It causes stress and we all know that what the doctors tell us about stress it true. It will ruin our health and can kill us. Yet, is a sickness that can be 100% prevented and completely cured.

5. Bitterness will defile others around you if not overcome.

- It will ruin your children if you are bitter against another Christian, your church, preacher, and yes....even God. - It will seriously effect your relationship with others and your ability to show love to your husband, children, family and friends. Marriages have been destroyed by bitterness, often when it is even directed towards others. You hurt the people you love the most and who count on you. - It will rob you of your testimony. 1 John 5:1-2 says, "Whosoever believeth that Jesus is the Christ is born of God: and every one that loveth him that begat loveth him also that is begotten of him. By this we know that we love the children of God, when we love God, and keep his commandments." - It will rob you of your service and reward for the Lord. Often bitterness grows and a person become so dishearten that they give up on the Lord. There is no satisfaction in serving the Lord. You see, bitterness effects our relationship with the Lord and God cannot bless us in this sinful state. - It will rob you of the blessings of the Lord. God cannot bless a person who is not living filled and guided by the Holy Spirit. In 1 Thessalonians 5 Paul exhorted us to:
* be at peace with all men.
* not render evil for evil.
* support the weak and be patient towards all men.
* pray without ceasing
* in everything give thanks
* quench not the Spirit.
* abstain from all appearance of evil.

B. You see....bitterness is sin. Sin breaks our fellowship with God and we then do not have His blessing or guidance.

           Often people because of pressure will keep on doing their job. They will keep coming to church. Outwardly the will make a semblance at serving the Lord, but their heart is not in it. There service is not done in faith trusting the Lord, but done resentfully.

          Bitterness is a personal sin and God clearly tells us that the wages of sin is death..... Sin is always destructive and this sin is one of the very worse.

III. Overcoming Bitterness - How?
A. Like any sin, we must first admit it.
1. 1 John 1:8-10 says, If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. If we say that we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us."

           Yet there is a particular problem admitting bitterness. It is so very hard to admit. Why?

"Because it was not you, but the other person who did the wrong, who hurt you, who said what the did, who abused your, who belittled you, who robbed you of your recognition."

           We feel that we are justified in feeling the way we do because we were the person who was wronged. What makes it worse....the person who hurt us often goes on about life with no apparent ill effect. They got away with hurting us and feel no remorse and make no apology.

2. You must confess your bitterness as sin. Eph. 4:29-32

           "Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers. And grieve not the holy Spirit of God, whereby ye are sealed unto the day of redemption. Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: 32 And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you."

           James 3:14 says, "But if ye have bitter envying and strife in your hearts, glory not, and lie not against the truth."

3. You must forgive the person who has wronged you. Eph. 4:32.

           Husband, wife, church, pastor, church member, family member or friend, parent....no matter what the did to you or how grievously they harmed you.

           Our natural nature...the old carnal nature says this person has hurt me so bad I can never forgive them. Maybe the continue to hurt you and seem to take pleasure it. You see we feel justified in our resentment towards them.

           Yet, as a believer we have been shown the love and forgiveness of Christ. He died for us when we were in rebellion against Him. Yes, we were guilty, but He loved us and showed that love by paying our sin debt...that we owed. We who have been shown such as wonderful love....can we do less.

B. And let us further admit that even after God saved us we continue at times to sin....don't we? Is not being bitter a sin....and all sin is against God isn't it. He deeply hurt Him when we deny Him our love and obedience. It hurts Him to see us giving into sin and destroying ourselves. It also makes little of His sacrifice for us doesn't it?

           You know the sin of bitterness you harbor....it helped drive the nails into his hands and feet. It helped shove Him down on that old rugged cross, it helped beat Him until His body and face were amass of sores and torn flesh. WE HAD A REAL PART IN HIS SUFFERING AND DEATH .....DO WE DESERVE TO BE FORGIVEN? Truly we do not, yet He forgave us when we believed.

           Can't you, for the love of Christ...forgive someone who hurt you? Can't you for the love of Christ....give the matter over to the Lord? Even someone who continues to hurt or offend you and who is not deserving of forgiveness...?

ILLUS: Bitterness is bondage and what a joy to be set free from it. Years ago, Carolyn and I sacrificed our all for a church. We loved them and we cared for them and their relationship with the Lord. We gave them many years of our lives....we gave up family. We were not able to attend our son's wedding, or the birth of our grandson's. We have missed most of their lives. Yet this church showed its appreciation by treating us so very bad. It almost killed me....yet I had to let it go, or it would have destroyed me. They to this day have never apologized or tried to set the thing right....but they are forgiven and I hold no grudge against them. My prayer is that they will seek the Lord and get their hearts right with Him.

          You must release them from the debt your feel they owe you.

Conclusion:

           The invitation is simple: As Christ loved you....so love your neighbor, no matter what the sin against you....forgive them and put it aside. Turn the matter over to the Lord, ask Him to forgive you for your bitter feelings and then forgive that person.

DEALING WITH ANGER

When a person becomes a Christian, his conduct and personality should undergo certain changes. One of these changes has to do with temper. A Christian should react in a Christian way. He should not lose his temper.

This lesson will deal with the problem of anger and temper. We will see the root cause of temper and learn how we can be delivered from the sin of temper.

THE DESTRUCTIVENESS OF ANGER

The first man to discover the destructive power of anger was Cain. Cain and his brother, Abel, were the first two sons of Adam. When these sons grew up, Cain became a farmer and Abel became a shepherd.

Cain and Abel had been taught the right way to worship God. They knew that God required an offering of innocent animals as a sacrifice for their sins. But, when they came to worship God, only one brother was obedient to God.

Abel brought a lamb as his offering, but Cain brought fruit from his crops as his offering.

God accepted Abel and his offering, but He rejected Cain and his offering. As a result of this, Cain became very angry. He was angry at God and jealous of his brother.

God warned Cain of the consequences of his anger. God's message to Cain was this: "Look out! Your anger is like a lion lying in wait outside your door. You must master your anger or it will master you." But Cain did not respond to God's warning. His jealousy of Abel turned into hatred.

One day, as Cain and Abel were in the field together, Cain rose up against his brother and murdered him. Thus the first man born into this world became a murderer because he did not control his anger.

DEALING WITH ANGER

Like Cain, we have the "lion" of anger within us. We must master it or it will master us. God has not said that we are never to be angry, but He has warned us of the danger of uncontrolled anger. The Bible says, 

"'Be angry, and do not sin': do not let the sun go down on your wrath." Ephesians 4:26 

Anger is the most violent of human emotions. Because it involves such strong feelings, anger borders closely on sin. The Bible does not say, "Be kind, but sin not," or "Love, but do not sin," because kindness and love are far removed from sin. But when we are angry, we are in danger of sinning. Someone has said, "If we are to be angry and sin not, we must be angry at nothing but sin."

There are three things we can do with our anger:

1. We can express it.

When anger is out of control, it does great damage. When we become so angry that we want to lash out at someone and hurt them, we are sinning deeply. We call this "losing our temper." Sometimes we think that we show how strong we are when we lose our temper, but losing our temper is a sign of weakness, not strength. The Bible says,

    "Do not hasten in your spirit to be angry, for anger rests in the bosom of fools." Ecclesiastes 7:9

2. We can suppress it.

To suppress anger is to keep it inside. Some people lose their temper and express their anger openly. Others have the same angry feelings but manage to keep them bottled up inside.

Anger that is bottled up or kept inside of us hurts and keeps on hurting. It turns to resentment and bitterness, and it can bring on depression as well as many kinds of physical illnesses. 

3. We can confess it.

The best way to handle angry feelings is to tell God about them. This is a way to "let off steam" without sinning. God knows us better than we know ourselves, and we will always find Him to be understanding.

Just being in God's presence helps to calm us. It also helps us to see things in their proper perspective. Many times we discover that the thing we were disturbed about was not really so important after all.

WE MUST DEAL WITH THE SIN OF TEMPER

Temper is uncontrolled anger. It is always wrong. When we lose our temper, there is but one thing to do. We must confess it to God as sin and claim the cleansing blood of Christ. If we have offended or hurt others, we must, of course, apologize to them.

Regardless of how many times you lose your temper, you must make things right with others each time. This will humble you and help you to see the damage done by your temper.

It is best not to go to the other person while you are still upset, but after you have calmed down, go and make things right.

WE MUST DEAL WITH THE CAUSE OF TEMPER

Even though we faithfully confess our sin to God every time we lose our temper, we still have a problem. The problem is that we keep doing the same thing over and over again. We lose our temper, and we confess it. Then we lose our temper again and confess it again. We do the same thing over and over. No matter how hard we try, we continue to lose our temper.

Is there a remedy for this problem? Yes, there is! The first thing we must do is to discover what causes us to lose our temper.

The Bible does not say much about temper. The reason is that the Bible is concerned with the root cause of temper, not just with the temper itself.

What is the root cause of temper? It is SELF! Temper is produced by SELF. Whenever temper is expressed on the outside, we may be sure that there is an angry SELF on the inside. We may try hard to control our temper, but unless SELF is dealt with, we will continue to get angry and lose our temper.

Let us look at a few temper producing situations so that we may see more clearly that SELF is the cause of temper.

· Someone puts us down.

Being "put down" or belittled by others is one of the most common causes of losing our temper. Someone says something unkind or hurtful about us, and we become angry on the inside. Our self-pride is injured. This is but one of the many forms of SELF.

· We cannot have our own way.

We are self-willed and determined to have our own way. When someone crosses us and we cannot have our way, we may sulk or pout, or flare up with anger. What is the root cause of this? It is SELF.

· Someone is honored above us.

We like to be looked up to and admired by others. For this reason we are jealous of others when they succeed. Jealousy often turns into anger when someone gets the job or honor that we wanted. Again, the root cause of these wrong feelings is SELF.

These are but a few temper producing situations, but they show us that the root cause of temper is SELF. We may not realize it, but the main reason for all our discontent is that we love ourselves and want to please ourselves. So long as we make ourselves the center of everything, we will react with anger when anyone crosses us.

To sum it up, temper comes from within us. It comes from SELF. Until the problem of SELF is dealt with, the problem of temper will not be solved.

NOTE: There is a self which I am to accept and a SELF which I am to deny. I am to accept myself as the special, unique person which God created me to be. But I am to deny SELF--that sinful self-life which is a form of the flesh.

GOD'S REMEDY FOR SELF

Because SELF is so hateful to God and so destructive to us, God did something about it.

What did God do about SELF? God dealt with SELF by putting us in Christ on the cross. When Christ was crucified, we were crucified with Him.

Why did God crucify us with Christ? He crucified us with Christ so that we might no longer be ruled by SELF. The Bible says,

"Knowing this, that our old man [our former self] was crucified with Him, that the body of sin might be done away with, that we should no longer serve sin."

-Romans 6:6 NKJB

Two great facts which are true of every Christian are:

1) Christ died for us, and

2) we died with Christ.

The great truths concerning our union with Christ in His death, burial, and resurrection are fully covered in Course 3. An understanding of these truths is absolutely essential to a life of victory.

God wants us to see that in Christ we died to our old life. We are not the same person we were before. We are "a new creation" IN CHRIST. We do not have to give in to our old sins. We died to all our sins, including the sin of temper. The Bible says,

    "How shall we who died to sin [including sinful temper] live any longer in it?" Romans 6:2 NKJB

PRACTICAL STEPS WE MUST TAKE

We have seen that the root cause of temper is SELF, and we have seen how God has dealt with it. Now let us see some practical steps that we must take.

1. We must see our need.

Many people, when angry, simply will not admit their anger. They say, "I am NOT angry!" Others admit that they have a temper but do not see it as a serious sin.

Actually, temper is one of the worst sins. The Bible lists uncontrolled anger along with such sins as drunkenness, witchcraft, adultery, and murder. (See Galatians 5:19-21.) Temper is simply not acceptable in the life of a Christian. The Bible says, 

"Let ALL bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor [loud quarreling], and evil speaking be put away from you, with ALL malice." Ephesians 4:31 

Unless we see the seriousness of our temper and determine to be delivered from it, we will not overcome it. If we are satisfied to go on as we have been going, we will know nothing of God's victory over the sin of temper.

2. We must accept responsibility for our temper.

It is very easy to excuse ourselves by blaming someone else for our temper. We say, "If so-and-so had not spoken to me like that, I would not have lost my temper." In other words, we think that our temper is an external problem--that it is caused by something from without.

The fact is that temper is an internal problem. Temper comes from within us, not from without. Others may say or do things that irritate me, but no one can make me lose my temper except me.

3. We must count on our death with Christ.

God has told us plainly that He has delivered us from the power of sin and SELF by our death with Christ. God tells us to count on these great facts. The Bible says, 

"Reckon yourselves to be dead indeed to sin [including the sin of temper], but alive to God in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 6:11 

We must put God's truth into practice. When we find ourselves getting angry, we can say, "Hold it! I am not acting like the person I really am. I am not the person I used to be. My old angry self was crucified with Christ. I don't have to give in to my temper any more. I am a new creature in Christ. Christ lives in me. He is my life."

4. We must deny SELF.

Whether or not we lose our temper is not determined by what happens on the outside. It is determined by the one in control on the inside.

Christ alone has the right to rule in our life, but SELF will still try to rule. Every Christian must choose whether he will be ruled by Christ or by SELF.

It is God's purpose that Christ reign on the throne of our heart. In order for Him to reign, SELF must be kept in the place of death on the cross.

It is one thing to understand the teaching that we were crucified with Christ. It is another thing to put it into practice and actually deny SELF. But this is what we must do. Jesus said, 

"If any man will come after Me, let him deny himself [deny SELF], and take up his cross daily, and follow Me." Luke 9:23 

To overcome temper, we must deny SELF. What does it mean to "deny SELF"? To deny SELF means to choose God's will instead of our own will. Denying SELF is saying, "I don't have to have my own way. I accept God's way."

The world says, "Look out for yourself," but Jesus says, "Deny yourself." We will never control our temper until we give up our way and choose God's way.

We will find that the Lord will allow us to be in many situations where we are slighted, mistreated, or inconvenienced. This is God's way of dealing with our self-life and our temper. God's purpose in all these situations is that we learn to be patient and self-denying, gladly letting God have His own way in our life.

When someone keeps you waiting a long time, you do not have to lose your temper. You can say, "Lord, You know that I need to learn patience. You are in control of my circumstances, and You have allowed this to teach me to be more patient. "

When someone says or does something that hurts your pride, you don't have to get angry. You can say, "Lord, You know how proud I am. I thank You for dealing with me about my sinful pride."

When others do not do what you want them to do and you cannot have your own way, this is your chance to die to SELF. You can say, "Lord, I always want to have my own way, but You know what is best for me. I accept Your way."

In whatever situation the Lord arranges for us, we can say, "Lord, this is what You have arranged for me. This is Your way of dealing with my self-life and my temper. I accept this from You and thank You for it."