ACCEPTANCE IS NOT APPROVAL

“The Father gives me the people who are mine. Every one of them will come to me, and I will always accept them.” (John 6:37 NCV)

Followers of Jesus ought to be the most accepting people in the world. John 6:37 says,“The Father gives me the people who are mine. Every one of them will come to me, and I will always accept them” (NCV).

You may have accepted Christ into your life, but do you understand that he’s accepted you? He doesn’t love you because of who you are or what you’ve done but because of who he is.

Titus 3:7 says, “Jesus treated us much better than we deserve. He made us acceptable to God and he gave us the hope of eternal life”(CEV). How does he make you acceptable? It’s not that you changed or got any better. It’s not that you never sin. It’s by his grace alone.

God wants you to show grace and acceptance to other people, but the problem is most people don’t know the difference between acceptance and approval. They are very, very different. Jesus Christ accepts you completely, but that doesn’t mean he approves of everything you do.

One day Jesus was walking down the street when some religious leaders who were trying to trap him brought a woman to him who had been caught in adultery. Jesus looked at all of the accusers and said, “Anybody who has never sinned, you get to throw the first stone.” And of course they all walked away.

What did Jesus do? He gave acceptance, not approval. He didn’t approve of what she had done, but he accepted the woman and restored her dignity.

That’s what you need to do with the people around you. You don’t have to go around approving of everything everybody does. But you do have to accept them, because that is a mark of love.

The Bible says in Romans 15:7, “Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you” (NIV).

How do you do that? One of the ways you can show acceptance to other people is to listen to them. Love pays attention. Love listens to the fears and the doubts of others and treats them with respect. Love accepts others the way Jesus accepts you.

Talk It Over

How does understanding God has accepted you change the way you view others and the choices they make?

What is it about your past or personality that keeps you from fully embracing God’s acceptance?

How can you show love to others of whom you do not approve?

THE BEST TIME TO LOVE IS NOW

“Whenever you possibly can, do good to those who need it. Never tell your neighbor to wait until tomorrow if you can help them now.”Proverbs 3:27-28 (GN)

The best time to love is now — not tomorrow. Not later. Not someday. Not one of these days. Not when you get around to it. Not soon. Now.

I don’t understand all these people who say, “I’m going to save all my money, and when I die, I’m going to give it away to charity.”

Why do that? Why not enjoy giving? Why not get the joy of giving by doing it now? Whatever you’re going to give of yourself, give it now!

Those people got a whole lot more joy out of giving now rather than after they’re dead. This is why I say, “Do your givin’ while you’re livin,’ then you’re knowin’ where it’s goin.’” And, it will give you joy!

The Bible says, “Whenever you possibly can, do good to those who need it. Never tell your neighbor to wait until tomorrow if you can help them now” Proverbs 3:27-28 (GN).

Never procrastinate in showing love. Don’t delay. Don’t put it off. Do it now.

Talk It Over

What do you need to do today to show love to someone in your life?

What are the distractions or excuses that keep you from loving well now?

What is it that God is asking you to give now that you have put off?

EXPRESS YOUR LOVE WITH YOUR TIME

“We must show love through actions that are sincere, not through empty words.” 1 John 3:18 (GW)

We all have different amounts of energy, wealth, and talent, but we all have the exact same amount of time: 168 hours a week. You can always get more money, but you can’t get more time. You only have a certain amount of allotted days, so you have to decide: What is your time worth?

The most valuable thing you can give someone is your attention, because when you give attention to somebody you’re saying, “You matter to me. You are valuable. You are worth listening to. You are worth my time.”

Jesus said that the essence of relationships is not what we do for each other or the things we give to each other. The essence of true, loving relationships is how much we give of ourselves to another person.

The second law of love is this: The best expression of love is time.

The Bible says in 1 John 3:18, “We must show love through actions that are sincere, not through empty words” (GW).

I can’t tell you how many husbands and dads I’ve talked to who’ve said, “I don’t get it, Wiza. I give my family everything they need. I’m a good provider. We live a very comfortable life. What more do they want?”

I’ll tell you what they want: They want you!

Only you can give them your time. Nothing can compensate for time — no amount of gifts, money, or clothes. Kids don’t need things; they need parents. Another video game is not the answer. They need you!

How do you find more time for the people who love you and that you need to love?

Let me give you one suggestion: Turn off the TV and the computer. It’s always amazed me that people will watch reruns of “Friends” instead of making friends or watch reality shows about somebody else’s family instead of working on the reality of their own family.

Ephesians 5:2 says, “Live a life filled with love, following the example of Christ. He loved us and offered himself as a sacrifice for us, a pleasing aroma to God” (NLT).

Love means giving up. It means I give up my agenda for your agenda. It means I give up my time for your time. It means I give up my preference for your preference. It means I give up what I’d rather do right now to do what you’d rather do right now. That is a sacrifice. That is love.

Talk It Over

What are some of the ways you can show love to your family and friends this week through giving your time?

What changes do you need to make in your schedule so that you have more time to demonstrate your love through action?

What have you learned about love from following the example of Christ?

LOVE COVERS YOUR SIN

“Most important of all, continue to show deep love for each other, for love covers a multitude of sins.” 1 Peter 4:8 (NLT)

The first law for learning how to really love God and other people is that the best use of life is love. There are two more reasons why you need to make learning how to love your life purpose.

First, love compensates for your sin. The Bible says in 1 Peter 4:8, “Most important of all, continue to show deep love for each other, for love covers a multitude of sins” (NLT).

The love of Jesus Christ covers your sins, and it also gives you the power to let other people off the hook. You’ve been forgiven, and you can forgive others.

King David from the Bible was not exactly a perfect guy. In fact, he blew it a lot. He lied. He cheated. He stole another guy’s wife. He committed adultery. He even had a guy murdered to cover up his sin!

But when David blew it, he admitted it quickly, and he repented. He didn’t always do what was right, but he sought after the Lord and wanted to do what was right. God called David a man after his own heart.

How could God say that about a man like David? Because it’s more important for you to love God with all your heart than for you to be perfect. Do you love God with all your heart? Do you love your neighbor as yourself? Doing so will cover a multitude of sins.

Second, love reverberates forever.

You need to learn that what matters right now are relationships. In fact, the Bible says life without love is worthless and wasted: “No matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I’m bankrupt without love” 1 Corinthians 13:3 (MSG).

So why do relationships get the short end of the stick? If we know it’s really about love, why don’t we have time for the people we love? Because we’re busy. We give first-class allegiance to second-class causes, and we start skimming on our relationships.

But nothing can take the place of love. Life is not about achievement or balanced schedules or recognition. It’s about love. Don’t let busyness cause you to forget that.

Talk It Over

What do you think it means to love God with “all your heart”?

In what ways have your relationships suffered because of busyness?

God’s love will cover your sin, but what do you need to repent of so that you can truly seek after God’s heart?

MAKE LOVE YOUR LIFE PURPOSE

“Love is more important than anything else. It is what ties everything completely together.”Colossians 3:14 (CEV)

Do you want to know how to best spend your life? Here it is: The best use of your life is love.

God says you need to make learning how to love your primary objective, your greatest ambition, your life purpose. Why does he say that? There are four reasons why love is more important than anything else. Today we’re going to look at the first two.

Love validates your faith. 
The reason why God wants you to learn to love is because he wants you to become like him. The Bible says in 1 John 4:20, “If we say we love God, but hate others, we are liars. For we cannot love God, whom we have not seen, if we do not love others, whom we have seen” (TEV). Love validates your faith. It proves you really are a child of God.Love integrates your life.
There are a lot of things that you can make your dominant life principle. But what you need is something at the center of your life so strong that it won’t fall apart when the trials come — when the road ends, the emotional earthquakes hit, and the financial hurricanes stir. When all of the tribulations of life batter you, you better have something at the center of your life that’s going to hold you together, or you’ll come apart.

The Bible says the only thing strong enough to do that is love — love for God and love for each other. When love becomes the center of your life, it brings everything else into focus.

Colossians 3:14 says, “Love is more important than anything else. It is what ties everything completely together” (CEV).

Talk It Over

What are the ambitions that get in the way of making love your greatest ambition?How can you make love the center of your life?

How can it serve as a stronghold for you?

In what ways do others identify you as a child of God? Is love one of those ways?

LIFE: A LESSON IN LOVE

“‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, and mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. The second most important is similar: ‘Love your neighbor as much as you love yourself.’” Matthew 22:36-39 (LB)

If you want your life to count, you have to focus it. You don’t have time for everything, and not everything is of equal value.

Matthew 22:36-39 says, “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, and mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. The second most important is similar: ‘Love your neighbor as much as you love yourself’” (LB).

Jesus said there are two things that are more valuable in life than anything else: loving God and loving each other.

Have you ever wondered why God didn’t just take you to Heaven when he created you? Why did he put you on Earth? You’re only here for 100 years at the most, and you’re going to live for eternity in Heaven or Hell. Why didn’t God just take everybody to Heaven?

The Bible is very clear that God put you here on Earth to do two things: to learn to love God and to learn to love other people. Life is not about acquisition, accomplishment, or achievement. It’s not about all the things the world tells you it’s about. You’re not taking your career to Heaven. You’re not taking your car to Heaven. You’re not taking your house to Heaven. But you are taking your character. You’re taking you.

God put you on Earth for 80 to 100 years so you can learn to love him with all your heart and learn to love others. Life is one giant lesson in love.

Talk It Over

What are the things you need to stop focusing on so that you have more time to show love to others?

How are you making the most of your time on Earth?

How much time do you spend learning how to love like Christ?

If someone looked at your life, what would he or she say are the most important things to you?

LOVE IS AN ACTION

“You have abandoned the love you had at first. Remember therefore from where you have fallen; repent, and do the works you did at first.” Revelation 2:4-5 (ESV)

Love is an action, not just emotion. Love is something you do.

It’s easy to love somebody who loves you, isn’t it? It takes nothing at all. But real love acts and does the loving thing when people don’t deserve it, when they don’t respond, or when you don’t feel it. Actually, acting in love when you don’t feel it is the highest form of love. It’s a more mature love when you act loving toward a person who does not respond the same way.

Have you also noticed that it’s easier to act your way into a feeling than it is to feel your way into an action? Some of you have been in marriages for a long time, and the truth is, the flame has gone out. The thrill is gone. You’re living separate lives in the same house. How do you rekindle that romance? How do you rekindle the feeling of love?

You act your way into a feeling. You may say, “I don’t feel like acting loving toward them.” So what? If you start acting in love, I guarantee you the feelings will follow — because feelings follow behavior.

In Revelation 2:4-5, Jesus says to the Church, “You have abandoned the love you had at first. Remember therefore from where you have fallen; repent, and do the works you did at first” (ESV). 

What Jesus told the Church is the same principle for renewing the love in a marriage or any other relationship. You remember, you repent, and you do the things you did at first. The reason the love went away is you stopped doing the things that created the love in the early days.

God doesn’t want you living by your feelings. He wants you living by faith. So you know what he does? Sometimes he lets the feelings go away. Then you have to love by faith and live by faith. When you love somebody and do the loving thing, even when he’s not responding and even maybe when he’s retaliating, you are loving by faith. That is an action.

Talk It Over

How do you show your love to the people around you through actions?

Who is the unloving person around you who needs to see your love demonstrated to him or her through action?

What “works you did at first” do you need to revive to help grow a relationship?